Last night my daughter graduated from kindergarten. It was kind of a big deal. They had worked on several songs to sing and each student individually accepted their diploma. My daughter was beyond proud. She kept saying "I'm graduating today!" And she was great. They all were. My heart was a puddle, as it usually is with these types of things.
But this is the part that was the most sad: out in the audience the only person that was there for my daughter was me. (Remember my husband has to work in Denver during the week). I watched all the other students with their tribes, did my best to represent my daughter, but in the end, we didn't have a tribe. It was my lone "whoop" when she got her diploma.
The thing is, we DO have a tribe. I have a lot of family and they are all pretty darn great. And they live in pretty darn great places.
So this seems like a good time to make the announcement I've been mentally preparing for.
We are moving to California. We will have my mom, my brother, my sister in law and and my nephew.
Tribe.
Anyone who knows me or has even followed my blog knows that this recent excursion into the mountains has not sat well with me. True, I love the mountains like part of my dna. But this has been a long, cold winter. And I have experienced a deep, soul crushing sort of sadness. No matter what friends I made or comfort I felt here, it's always felt like pushing a square peg in a round hole.
I don't think families are designed to be mom, dad and kid(s) out there doing it all alone. There's supposed to be a village. Families are there to be families! We were so wrong when we moved here, SO FAR away from any family (we are a 2.5 drive from the airport now). The thing is this being wrong? I've known it on some level all along. It never felt right. There was always a very deep sadness, always a sense that we had made the wrong decision. This decision to move to California?
Nothing has ever felt more right.
So now you know. We need to tie up some loose ends, but we will be there soon.
In the words of Joni Mitchell: California, I'm coming home.
