today's thought

poem in your pocket

Yesterday on my way into work I heard them say on NPR that it was National Poem in Your Pocket Day. I'm really bummed I didn't get on it and find a poem to put in my pocket, but I was in gross scrubs all day anyway. In lieu of pocket poetry, here's a little poem for your day.

Love Poem With Toast
By Miller Williams

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,
as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

http://www1.arguscourier.com/article/20080410/ENTERTAINMENT/967292491

backatcha

Maybe to spite my acknowledgment of my pet peeve against others in my previous post, the universe is retaliating by giving myself a dose of pet peeves against me! I hate hate hate when I have the best of intentions about something, but something was overlooked (careless) and I end up messing up. For example, I so eloquently executed the rearrangement of my clinical wed and thurs so that I could pick up a friend's shifts at work because she is sick. This is of course thinking I have to work this weekend. Imagine my astonishment when I'm standing in the kitchen in my pajamas, eating a bowl of cereal, and mindlessly looking at the calender. Wait a minute, I'm supposed to work today!!
Of course I called in a panic, apolozing over and over. Then calling back to apologize again and should I come in after my clinical. Oh what a mess. I messed up. This all on the unit where I so very much want to be hired as a new grad. You got me good Universe. Maybe I should keep those peeves to myself.

pet peeved: a confessionary tale

What makes a pet peeve? Why do things that are simple background occurences stand out with a glaring force to others? I do not understand the meaning of the pet peeve, only that when they are there they can become terribly ugly little creatures that want to come out and show all of their ugliness whenever [blank] peeve occurs?

i have a terribly annoying and ugly pet peeve that I have had ever since I was a little girl. The peeve that invokes my ugly little cerebral monster is an everday occurence...chewing. There is very little that iritates me more than to listen to the sound of someone eating. As a child there were times that I couldn't even eat at the dinner table. This is ridiculous you must think! Chewing? We all chew. I chew. Yet to listen to someone work there food with a racket of bites and chomps and lip smacks. Oooh! It's awful. And the throat noise with the drinking..why? What is the function for the after swig "aaahhh"? It remains a mystery to me.

Sure I have gotten better through the years. I'm well into adulthood now, but in this confessionary blog I tell no mistruths: I still got the peeve. I have just found ways to deal with it. If you're eating and I'm eating, then it's no big deal, I'm busy behind the roars of my own chews (which oddly, don't bother me at all!). Much loud eatery can also be covered up with the sounds of a radio or television; these are both great tools for neutralizing the peeve. Conversations are also nice diversions. If you suck me in with good dialogue then there is a good chance I won't be perseverating on your mandible. Also, there seems to be an inverse relationship to the way I feel about someone and the effect of the peeve. In otherwords, if I like you a whole lot then there is a good chance this peevance would not even occur.

The other tactic is to internalize.. I know that this peeve is ridiculous. I know that we all must chomp our food for digestion, and that all men are equal in the chomping playing field. So what can I do? Years have taught me to either use up my tricks or internalize the beast. I do my best. Really, this all sounds excessive but I like to think that if you tapped into the secret peevances inside peoples' brains they may come out odd to the next person (this is what I tell myself). But still, if you come into the room and sit next to me when it's all quiet and eat a bowl of Honeycombs, then I'm sorry, you better just keep on walking, because you do not want to sit by me. Hey, I got my quirks, okay?

fun with sledgehammers

When Mike and I got our new place, we knew that the major project was the backyard. The backyard, for some ingenius reason, is concrete. This may be very pleasurable for some, no mowing, no maintenance, lower water bills. But to me, nothing makes me happier than being surrounded in green lushness, to be able to garden your own veggies and plant beautiful flowers to brighten your day. Gardening, to me, is a labor of love.

Plus, when you have a dog that has to take turds it's really much nicer on the grass.

So anyway, said concrete backyard and the two of us at Home Depot made today "Sledgehammer the backyard day!" We did a nice little chunk that has already opened up for a good size garden space. It's really quite fun pulling out those big old hunks of concrete (what were the previous owners thinking???).

However, while removing one of the concrete slabs it seems I have enormously upset an incredibly large colony of ants. There were so many ants! It was hard to not feel a bit sad, this was surely devastating to them, but they wasted no time getting to work. It was really quite fascinating to watch. Here's a little clip of our displaced backyard ant colony.

surely the signs that spring is a sprungin

take it with you perhaps

I just wanted to share this quote that I heard today. It was spoken by a chaplain during a meeting of Hospice nurses, physicians, social workers, and me, the nursing student. I felt very touched by this and hope to remember it throughout my life.

"Peace is not about avoiding the storm. Peace is about being present when you are in the middle of it."

Sometimes words have the powerful effect of hitting just the places that need to be touched. I think language is remarkable in this way.

I intend to further expand upon my experiences of the Hospice setting, but for now I just wanted to share this quote.

today's mantra

Hair will grow back.
Hair will grow back.
Hair will grow back.
Hair will grow back.

This is this month's mantra.

I just got chopped, and not in the way I was hoping. I had found the cutest little haircut from a yoga magazine. I took it in to my very wonderful stylist friend, Jenny. She cut it exactly like the picture...but I am freaking out!!!! It is so short and my hair was already short. I feel like the vainest person in the world because I can not even walk by a mirror without spending at least a couple of minutes trying to rearrange each tiny and now oh so precious hair. I am having such a hard time getting used to it.
Can you tell?

Hair will grow back.
Hair will grow back.

abandonment

oh she had so much to do she could hardly see straight,
but she stared blindly at her computer,
her book at her side,
trying to form a relationship between the two.
Staring,
thinking,
reorienting to her purpose.
In short, a struggle.

When the end is near the work becomes more cumbersome,
why bother with the dating
when you can kiss the finish line?
She watched the clock get deeper and deeper in the day
supposing she ought to just abandon these tasks in uselessness
and tend to the brake light that is out in her truck.

life has a way of going on underneath the procrastination,
making the deadlines and unachieved goals
all the more oppressive to live under.
but sometimes you must,
you must abandon ship.
For there is much to be done,
and time is never on one's side.

-Summer Richards, 4/7/08

not yesterday, not tomorrow

My dog decided to write a post. Not me, my dog. She's really quite saavy!

Dis be Jackie Brown. 'S coo', bro. Let me tell ya' about my supah cool weekend. Mom and Dad took me on mah' first hike uh de year. It was baaad ass... ah' wuz so's happy. Slap mah fro!
The hike wuz easy. What it is Mama! I's gots'ta run around widout dat darn leash on. 'S coo', bro. And boy it felt so's supah good at da damn top t'cool off in de snow. Right On!

I rememba' befo'e dey gots me at dat doggie shelta' I wuz so's fat ah' couldn't even walk around da damn block. Ya' know? Now I'm fasta' dan every damn dog on de mountain! Right on! My mom and dad are da coolest ever. We tight!
De views sho' nuff are pretty here in Boulder, Colo'ado. I's wish I could mosey on down here everyday. Right On!

How to take the best nap ever.

1. Do your laundry.
2. Pile your laundry on your bed.
3. Don't fold your laundry.
4. Go exercise.
5. Come home and crawl underneath your sheets with laundry on it.
6. Sleep.

Advice on best nap ever: Make sure someone is there to wake you up or you might not wake up till morning.

The Great Tile Project

So you may be starting to see that I spend some time in thrift stores. I just love the unique and random things you can find. And the crafting supplies! You never know what you're gonna find. Anyway, I came across a big box of 9x9 ceramic tiles. It's like a big box of 9x9 blank slates! What to do???

So far I have worked on two. They are my new funnest project. The one on the left needs some touching up still. I'm having lots of fun brainstorming for new tile ideas.

maybe a winnebago isn't so bad...

ok so I think I'm getting old. Nevermind the fact that I've become totally obsessed with crafting and spending obscene amounts of time tending to my plants, which are still so very small. But now I think I understand why some old couples have so much fun driving around in their Winnebegos to go "antiquing". Antiques totally rock! There is something so incredibly classic about old relics. Check out these two pictures I picked up at a flea market this weekend. They were 50 cents and they were just in an old bucket of random objects, but they are on thick card stock and look at the pictures! I just love the old sienna coloring and the old styles. The mom had quite the short little 'do; it reminds me of myself! And those babies gowns are so elegant. I like trying to imagine what this family's life was like and how different it is from my own. There is such beauty in antiquity. It is like holding on to a moment of time, a moment long forgotten but that you get to keep alive with your attention. These people are probably long gone now. But for those moments you spend wondering about their memory, it is as though they are still alive, existing in your new, unique perception.


ok and in all my flea market sifting (because there was a whole lot of crapola), I also found this phone, sitting in the middle of a tarp, alone, with a box of old vhs movies next to it. I talked the lady down to $7, and sure it serves no purpose, but man this phone is soooo cool!

vintage!

My good friend Jody, also a soon to be graduated nursing student, has recently acquired some very vintage finds from her parents old storage shed. Unfortunately her mother is no longer with us, but she left behind a wonderful nursing graduation present for Jody...her old nursing supplies! (circa 1961) These were so vintage and beautiful that I simply had to come over and do a photo shoot. Can you believe they used to use Mercury for first aid????

the holy thriftstore grail

Mike finds things. I don't know how he does it, but he can go into stores, thriftshops, anywhere, and just find the coolest things. A lot of my clothes Mike has actually found. Anyway, I've been looking for a polaroid camera for about a month now. I've been actually putting in a decent amount of effort rifling through various thriftstores to find one. So sunday night we hit one on our way back home, we're about to check out and low and behold what does Mike find? A polaroid camera. For $2.99.
Total score.
I realize Polaroid has decided to discontinue their film and cameras. I guess I better get what I can in while it's there. Here are a few shots that I took today.

wise fortune cookie

Heart Chakra

Hello Spring!

Today is officially the first day of spring. They are planning on snow tomorrow, but today was simply glorious!!!

Hello Mr. Bee!

Hello Mrs. Squirrel!

Hello Sun!

stereotype

companion

He remembered yes,
the way it spilled from his lips like a familiar name.
It was an exciting reality,
holding hands with curiousity into the unknown world. Years later, far removed from youth,
his aged mouth forms no with simple acceptance.
The unknown world has lost its enchantment.
Now he holds on to hesitation
like a bad habit.
It has become a companion.

-Summer Richards, 3/19/08

sad day

My running shoes have officially died. I'm not big on buying new shoes, especially specialized shoes for running. When I find a pair that works I stick with them till the end. When I busted out the duct tape before yesterday's run I knew that end had come.
They were very good to me.



In other news, Mike and I decided to make cheese! We wanted to really do it from scratch, but there is this special ingredient (rennet) that has proven to be impossible to find. So we bought some fresh curds from a local wine and cheese store and went from there. We really didn't do a good job. The end result was certainly not the fine squishy Mozzarella I know and LOVE, but beside from the texture, the cheese was totally yummy!

gray

His wife left him one day.
He sat at the edge of their bed, looked around.
He noticed the sun,
the first sign of light in a week of rain.
He laid his hands over his brow.
He was not prepared for this solitude.

She did not leave him out of discontent
but she did leave in a hurry.
He would bury her in the ground
in a few short hours.

He went to the mirror and straightened out his suit.
He stood in quiet reflection,
noticed the years in his aging skin,
the fight he was losing to gravity,
and that his eyes,
once blue as the sea
were grayed, wearied,
like a ship moving into the fog.

-Summer Richards, 3/14/08

ONCE: Falling Slowly

This is the song "falling slowly" from the movie "once". This movie really got to me. It's a very touching and simple story about two musicians. The music is beautiful. Truthfully I got quite a bit choked up during this song. There's just something about it that makes me feel very emotional. I absolutely love when songs have the ability to do this. It is a special quality when art invokes things inside of you. This is why I'm sharing it here.

back to reality

I'm back from vegas after 4 days. Here is a little list of what Vegas was to me:

1. Vegas can be as elegant or as seedy as you want it (ie. the Flamingo vs. the Bellagio)
2. Paris the casino is impressive, but it only reaffirms my strong desire to go to the city (I've never been!)
3. Drunk men are unimpressive and a little scary to be around
4. I have such good times with Mike.
5. I like having a housekeeper!
6. Vegas is like being stuck in an airport or a movie theater...the prices are insane!
7. The fountains at the Bellagio are gorgeous, simply gorgeous.
8. You must only wear comfortable shoes in Vegas. There is much walking to be done.
9. Dressing up can be awfully fun, the war wounds are the blisters on my feet.
10. Vegas makes me appreciate coming home.

Vegas

So nobody knows this but I'm in Vegas.

Yes, Vegas. In truth I'm not a huge fan of this city. I find it overstimulating and shirking from any real sense of purpose other than to entertain. But Mike has a conference, and as of yesterday's all day paper-writing venture, I'm officially done with this block of school. So I came to take the proverbial load off, enjoy the pool and the housekeeping and have nothing of any real importance to do. I must say it is nice. It's 10am and I still haven't left the hotel. I'm still in bed actually and I LOVE it!

Last night we saw Mamma Mia at Mandalay Bay. It was SO AWESOME!!! Mike laughed at me and said that I was "really into it". I was sitting on the end of my seat smiling the whole time. It was all set to the music of ABBA and it was just so well done. And we were in the third row center!

I was a little bummed at the end because no one stood up. They should have stood up. I should have stood up. I wanted to, but I chickened out. I'm not proud of this. They deserved the ovation.

After we went to dinner. We had booked a reservation on opentable.com so we could get the 1,000 points. But we sat there for like 10 or 15 minutes and no one even said hi to us. So we left. At this point it was close to 11pm so we went back to the hotel and ordered room service. It was decadent. They brought an entire table into our room and set it up like we were in a restaurant. Ooh baby, I could get used to this!

how i wish I could share this loveliness with you

I picked up this Jasmine plant at our local greenhouse. The smells remind me of California; Jasmine grew like a weed there. The smell is just decadent and I officially love it.

an afternoon at St. Mark's

The sun has arrived.
It's been inching itself across the room for hours,
immersing its victims in blinding light,
unheeding to their squirms, their readjustments,
laughing in all its majesty as they shuffle around with their coffee cups.

It's nearly impossible to sit still in the brutal honesty of the sun.

-Summer Richards, 3/3/08

She walks

She walks
as if she's her own star parade
Her back is erect
Her plans are well laid.
She walks
with hips that sway side to side
You want to know
And she doesn't hide.
She walks
with a skip, she's intoxicating
you've been there for hours
but forget that you're waiting.
She walks
looking down, not really sure-footed
Her brow, it is furrowed
Her hair, it is hooded.
She walks
in a hurry, her face sheltered from the wind
She knows that this storm
Will bring her weather again.

-Summer Richards, 3/3/08

Today I feel Blue